


Crazy Little Thing Called Love

by lorannah



Category: Sarah Jane Adventures
Genre: Future Fic, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-18
Updated: 2009-12-18
Packaged: 2017-10-04 12:58:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lorannah/pseuds/lorannah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Valentine's Day – you know what that means, lots of dating, and talking about uncomfortable feelings, and hearts and flowers and chocolates, and, oh yes, lots of kissing and a monster ripping people apart – everything you'd expect really. Silliness and crack ahoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crazy Little Thing Called Love

**Author's Note:**

> Download link: http://www.box.net/shared/hkxps5zlb8

 

# February 14th, 2014

 

“Come on Clyde,” he told his reflection, straightening the collar on his shirt again. “You can do this.”

He looked good. He always looked good, but yeah, today he definitely looked… extra-good? Well, something like that anyway.

“I know we’ve known each other for years,” he tried out the words again. “And I know it’s going to be a little strange… at least at first, but feelings change, grow stronger, and sometimes you fall in love with a… a…”

Friend? Acquaintance? Collegue? Fellow card carrying member of the Let’s Save the World Club?

Actually, maybe they should have membership cards, saving the world would probably have excellent benefits. Better than his student union card anyway.

“Bugger,” he swore, he’d lost his chain of thought again.

“Are you alright?” Luke asked from behind him and Clyde turned quickly with an uncomfortable embarrassed, fake laugh.

He was starting to agree with Maria. They really needed to get a lock for the bathroom door.

It had never been much of an issue when it was just Luke and him, they’d seen each other naked loads of times – aliens being full of weird ideas. But there were times when the toilet was a man’s… castle? No, sanctuary.

“Yeah… yeah… I’m fine, just you know… errr… I cut myself shaving.”

Which was a stupid lie really, considering it was obvious that he wasn’t shaving and doubly obvious that he hadn’t cut himself. If it hadn’t been Luke, he could at least have justified it as an obvious lie to put him off asking again – but that never worked with Luke.

“It sounded like you were asking someone out… or practicing I suppose,” Luke told him and the horrid laugh burst out again.

Usually he would just have told him the truth but, under the circumstances, that would have been really weird and, possibly, dangerous. And tonight was going to be weird enough as it was.

Clyde hadn’t quite managed to stop the laugh or decide what to say, when Luke suddenly stepped forward and kissed him.

Which only went to show, Clyde thought with the speed that only pure panic could promote, that when you thought the universe couldn’t get any weirder it always found a way to pop up and slap you in the face.

He staggered back a step, hitting the sink, Luke coming with him, both hands cradling Clyde’s face. It was a surprisingly firm and confident kiss and Clyde realised that if he had been in any state to compare it to the other kisses he’d had, which he definitely wasn’t, it was actually one of the better ones.

It was bloody typical that Luke would turn out to be good at kissing.

Clyde’s hands were gripping the sink and with the sudden realisation that Luke wasn’t about to stop and had, in fact, just tilted his head quite forcibly to find a better angle, he let go, knocking something over with a crash and as gently but forcefully as possible pushed him away.

He sucked in a deep breath, bending over slightly and desperately tried to decide what to do.

Luke had obviously gone insane… or been possessed by some sort of alien who had travelled half way across the universe to make out with Clyde. Which was always a possibility.

When he looked up Luke was looking worried and confused – it was definitely a familiar Luke look.

“Did I do something wrong?” He asked.

Clyde stared at him for a second, only partly aware that his mouth was hanging open, there really didn’t seem to be any way to start explaining how much of an understatement that was – though several jokes sprung immediately, unsuitably, to mind.

“Are you two alright?” Maria asked from the doorway. “I heard something smash?”

Luke and Clyde’s eyes met in a moment of embarrassed shock that convinced Clyde that Luke was probably not possessed by an alien and then they both turned to look at Maria.

“I just knocked something over,” Clyde told her, “This bathroom is too bloody small.”

She gave him a look of amused disbelieving bafflement. But he definitely wasn’t about to explain what had really just happened.

“You look nice,” he said instead. And she did. She was even wearing makeup, which was unusual and she’d done something to her hair. Apparently everyone was going out of their way to surprise him today. “You going somewhere?”

She flushed, her face going a deep red.

“I… errr… I have a date.”

“Really?” Luke asked, the obvious surprise somehow less hurtful because it was mixed with genuine pleasure.

She nodded, still red.

“I better go, I’ll be late.”

She could barely get out of there quickly enough. And then they were left alone again.

“Alright,” Clyde said as they heard the front door close, “What was that about? I can think of more subtle ways of you telling me you’re gay, you know.”

“I’m not sure I am,” Luke told him, looking thoroughly miserable. “But I’ve been wondering and… someone told me maybe I should just try it and…”

Everything slotted into place for Clyde. Luke’s curiosity had the potential to be the biggest threat the planet had ever seen and, now that he thought about it, had been once or twice.

And he supposed he shouldn’t be too surprised that Luke, feeling curious, had turned straight to him. Though turned straight might not be the right term. He always tended to attach himself to people he already knew.

When Luke had decided that he should move out of Sarah-Jane’s house, he’d never even considered that he would move in with anyone other than Clyde.

And the only times he’d decided he was interested in girls it had been with friends. When they were 17 he’d had a short lived relationship with Rani and then last year when Maria had first got back from America he’d had an even shorter fling with her.

It had barely lasted a fortnight and for a few days afterwards everything had been a little awkward. Maria had even moved back in with her Mum, though apparently things had been even more awkward there as she’d come back two days later and everything had settled back into place.

“I think… or hope, that whoever it was told you to try, didn’t mean with me.”

“But I already care for you and I thought…”

“As friends,” Clyde interrupted him, “Best friends… but still just friends. And we don’t use words like ‘care, we use manly words and it’s just… it’s different.”

“But when I heard you before, you said you’d known… whoever it was… for years and…”

“It wasn’t you,” he said quickly. “And anyway, whether you’re gay, I’m definitely not.”

“If it was Maria, it’s probably not…” Luke began.

“No,” Clyde interrupted, “not Maria. Can we just forget that?”

Luke sighed morosely behind him.

“What should I do then?” He asked.

Which was another question Clyde had thought he’d never be asked. What exactly did you tell your best friend when he asked where to go to find out if he was gay?

“Errr…” He turned back to the mirror, to buy a little time and realised that he looked like he’d just been kissed thoroughly… which he supposed he had. Disturbingly.

“I guess you should go to a gay bar, pick someone up,” he said as he turned on the tap and began to splash water on his face.

“You mean like a one night stand?” Luke asked.

“Yeah… I guess.”

“I’m not sure I could do that,” Luke replied.

“Well… it’s like you always say, you should try everything once.”

Luke was silent for a moment as Clyde surveyed the mirror again.

“What would I wear?” Luke asked eventually.

“Oh come on, you must have something you can…” Clyde turned round and caught sight of Luke sat on the edge of the bath. “Or maybe not. OK, you can wear one of my shirts but make sure you take it off if you do… anything…”

Luke grinned at him.

“Don’t worry Cinderella,” Clyde told him, “You will go to the ball.”

* * * * *

Maria knocked on the office door, a little nervously and then pushed it open. Martha… Doctor Jones, she mentally corrected herself, looked up at her from where she was sat in front of the bank of computer monitors and smiled. God, she was beautiful when she smiled… and when she didn’t and when… Maria cut the thought off in annoyance.

She wasn’t here because her boss was pretty, she was just here to help out. UNIT shouldn’t be left staffed by only one person, even on Valentine’s Day.

“Maria. I wasn’t expecting you in tonight.”

“I thought you might need some help.”

Martha gave her a judging look for a moment.

“No date?” She asked. Maria felt herself blush and shook her head.

“Don’t worry,” Martha said with a slight laugh, “I’ve been there. God, what am I saying… I’m still there.”

“Where’s…” Maria asked but trailed off, not quite bringing herself to say _your husband_.

“Tom? He’s in India at the moment… saving the world again, the old fashioned way. That’s why I said I’d work tonight, it’s better to have something to do.”

Maria nodded and squeezed into the chair beside her.

“So has anything been happening?” She asked, doing her best not to stare at Martha’s profile, highlighted by the blue light of the computer screens.

“Not much, a few odd alien energy readings have been popping up across the city – I’ve been trying to find a pattern and some hint at what it might be before I call everyone in… It’s probably nothing.”

* * * * *

Luke looked around the club nervously. Everyone else seemed to know what they were doing.

He stood at the bar, with his drink clutched in front of him like a shield. He looked down at it. A very small, probably not very useful, almost empty shield.

Looking back up his eyes met those of a man. A man staring at him from across the room. The man smiled and walked steadily towards him.

For a brief second, Luke’s eyes darted sideways looking for a route of escape and then he forced them back. He was being silly, this was why he’d come here.

“Hey,” the man said. “I’ve not seen you here before.”

Luke smiled at him, trying not to look nervous.

* * * * *

Clyde pushed the magazines on the coffee table into a neater pile. It would probably have surprised most people to discover that he was the tidy one out of the trio. Of course, most people would also have thought the magazines belonged to Maria, and they would have been wrong about that as well.

They all belonged to Luke. Neither Clyde nor Maria had managed to break him of his enjoyment of gossip magazines. He always just replied that any information was useful information. Which was ridiculous.

Though annoyingly, Luke’s knowledge of the minutiae of celebrities’ lives had managed to save the day on three separate occasions so far.

Clyde sank onto the sofa and flicked his phone open, he couldn’t make the room any tidier and he couldn’t put this off any longer or they’d be late at the restaurant and the man had said, sniffily, that if they were late he’d let their table go.

He pressed the dial button. It was answered in less than three rings.

“Hey,” he said. “No he’s fine… yeah, yeah… no look we’re all fine. I was wondering if you could meet me… yeah at the Thames restaurant, it’s opposite Paddington Station.”

* * * * *

Luke was pretty certain his eyes had actually started to glaze over. They’d been talking for almost twenty minutes, but none of it had been very interesting and he had the strong feeling that the man… Pete hadn’t listened to a word he’d said.

Instead his eyes had been drinking him in, which was a strange phrase really but seemed to fit.

As if to prove Luke’s point, Pete moved a step closer and rested his hand on Luke’s hip. He leaned in close enough to whisper in his ear, his teeth scraping softly against the lobe.

“Maybe we should go somewhere quieter, where we can talk more. My place isn’t too far away.”

Luke’s throat tightened and almost instinctively his eyes flicked away again and found a boy, maybe a year or two older than him watching them from a few steps away. He looked a little familiar. The boy smiled.

“Sorry I’m late,” the boy said suddenly, pushing in between Pete and him and roughly he kissed Luke on the mouth.

As they broke apart, Luke pulled in a short warm breath. The boy turned to look at Pete who scowled.

“You could have said,” he told Luke and stalked away.

The boy turned to the barman.

“Usual.”

And then he smiled at Luke.

“Hope you’re not too upset,” the barman pushed the drink towards him. “If you’d gone back to his flat he might have made you talk – really likes the sound of his own voice. And god he’s dull. Quite good in bed though.”

“Who are you?” Luke asked.

“Sorry,” the boy held out his hand, an oddly formal gesture after his first greeting. “I’m Adam Mitchell. I work with Maria. You’re Luke right?”

* * * * *

“Would Sir like to order yet?” The waiter asked, unable to hide a slight note of annoyance in his voice.

“No, she’ll be here in a minute,” Clyde replied.

The restaurant was small and cosy and already disturbingly filled with couples kissing and holding hands and sharing food. Perhaps this had not been the right night.

Sarah Jane arrived a moment later, looking the same as ever and with her sonic lipstick already in hand, ready for action. Breathtaking. She glanced around the restaurant, noting the quiet peacefulness and he saw her slip the lipstick back into her handbag.

The waiter was heading in her direction when she spotted Clyde and waving the man aside, she slipped into the seat opposite him.

She leaned in close and he caught a whiff of familiar perfume.

“What’s going on?” She whispered. “Where’s Luke.”

“He’s… he’s out with work friends.”

Clyde was almost entirely certain that Sarah Jane wouldn’t be upset to find out that Luke might be gay… but he had the feeling that she might not be as relaxed if she found out he’d told him to go to a bar and pick up a one night stand.

“On Valentine’s Day?” Sarah Jane asked, surprised.

“Yeah, well they’re a bit weird aren’t they. No dates.”

“Clyde,” she warned.

“You were the one who got Mr Smith to investigate them.”

“Which showed they were entirely human. Anyway Luke likes them – we should be nice. Is it Maria?”

“No… look everyone’s alright, nothing’s going on. I just wanted to talk.”

She smiled at him. Obviously worried.

“Okay. You know I’m always here for you.”

Reaching out she took his hand and his heart beat a little faster.

* * * * *

Luke laughed as Adam finished his story. Maria often filled them in on the goings on at UNIT but she wasn’t really interested in the science of it and she definitely didn’t have a scientist’s sense of humour.

As he turned back to the drink Adam had bought him he saw the barman shoot them a look – half disparagement and half disappointment.

“Geeks,” the guy muttered as he turned and headed down to the other end of the bar.

“Look,” Adam said with a grin. “I don’t want to come across as some sort of skeeze like Pete, but we could go back to mine if you like. We could talk or…”

“I’m not sure _that_ would be a good idea,” a man said from his other side.

They both looked at him in surprise. He was tall and pale, with lots of odd, but not entirely unappealing angles.

“Who the hell are you?” Adam asked him in annoyance.

“That is a good question,” the man said with a sudden grin, almost skipping between them.

“What’s the answer?” Luke asked, curious.

The man waved his hands about.

“Work in progress, work in progress. But, I do know who you are,” he said with a smile at Adam. “Adam Mitchell, child genius, employed by a Henry van Statten – rich, bit of an idiot. Van Statten, not you – well, the first bit anyway…”

“See it all comes back to you, the memories,” he added conspiratorially to Luke and then turned back to Adam. “Promising but a disappointment. And, oh yes.”

Without warning, he raised his hand, for a moment Luke thought he was just going to gesture again but instead he clicked his fingers. The sound sharp and clear even against the persistent beat of the music.

 Adam’s forehead opened – no it unfolded, revealing bright metal insides – impossibly alien and his eyes widened in shock. Adam clicked his own fingers, the first time not making a sound but the second loud enough for whatever it was in his brain to close again. An interface, Luke thought, some sort of computer interface.

Adam backed away quickly.

“Keep away from me,” he said, his voice shaking and then he was gone. A moment later Luke saw him almost at the clubs main doors.

“Come on,” the man said leaning in and gripped Luke’s hand. “I need your help.”

He pulled him through the crowds of dancing men and women to the back of the club  and then up a small metal staircase that ended in a shadowy corner and a Fire Exit.

Luke realised what the man was about to do just before he did it.

“You’re not supposed to do that,” he said quickly.

“I know,” his eyebrows quirked upwards mischievously and he pushed the door open, pulling Luke through it and slamming it shut as the alarms began to sound.

They were in an alley, small and filthy and filled with rubbish bags.

“Excellent,” the man said as he looked around, not letting go of Luke’s hand.

“You set off the alarms,” Luke told him, feeling a step behind – it was a long time since anyone had made him feel a step behind.  Well apart from the occasional marauding alien host.

“Yep – needed to get everyone out. Don’t want another massacre. Now I just need a way to get its attention.”

“It’s?” Luke began to ask but the man tugged at his hand suddenly pulling him towards him. His other arm wrapped around his back, pushing their bodies together. Their noses bumped uncomfortably for a moment and then the man found his mouth and Luke couldn’t breath anymore.

They stumbled backwards until Luke felt the cold wood of the door behind his back. They broke apart a few seconds later, only enough to draw deep breaths, their noses still almost touching.

“Huh,” the man murmured, “That’s a bit of a surprise. Oh, wait a minute.”

One of his hands was trapped behind Luke’s back, he could feel it there, large and reassuring. The other was still clenched with Luke’s at their side. The man freed it, untangling their fingers and reached awkwardly into one of his pockets, not moving from Luke even an inch.

Luke heard a familiar buzzing, whine, though he couldn’t immediately place it.

“What…” he started to ask. “What…”

“Just increasing the signal,” the man murmured against his jaw and then the man’s hand found his neck, stroking it, Luke was surprised he hadn’t noticed how long his fingers were.

And then their lips were together again and he couldn’t think enough to be surprised at anything any more.

In fact, he couldn’t remember thinking anything at all until there was a sudden low growl behind them.

The man broke apart from him, pausing for a moment there faces inches apart and he smiled sheepishly.

“Whups,” he said. “Got distracted.”

Then he spun around on the ball of one foot.

“Here we go.”

It was big and hairy and seemed to have a lot more claws than was entirely normal, but it was too dark for Luke to see much else. He started to move immediately, finding a safer position, already sizing the alien, or whatever it was, up – looking for a clue, a weakness.

But the other man had moved faster, skipping and sliding closer to the monster, something held lightly in his fingers. The monster reared over him, claws bared and the man made one wild slashing motion with his hand. Almost as if he were bowling a ball.

The creature lurched backwards with a sound like a whine and then broke into a rolling run, moving fast down the alley and out of sight.

“It got away,” Luke groaned but as the man turned to him he looked triumphant.

“Got it,” he said waving a fistful of what looked like matted hair. “Now I just need to find somewhere to analyse all this, don’t suppose you know somewhere?”

“Actually…” Luke started and then hesitated. He knew Mr Smith would be able to analyse it in a second but his mum would be at home and he suddenly felt self conscious about introducing her to this man.

“Just let me call someone,” he told him, pulling his phone from his pocket and flipping it open. He found Maria’s number, pressed call and waited nervously for a moment, aware of the man watching him as it rang.

“Hey,” Maria said on the other end, “I’m a bit busy right now…”

“Maria,” Luke interrupted, “I need to get into UNIT... now.”

He saw the side of the man’s mouth quirk in surprise and amusement – as if he knew what UNIT was.

“I need to use the lab? Can you meet me there?” He asked.

“Err… well… actually, I’m already here. How long will you be?”

“About five minutes,” he told her.

* * * * *

Maria snapped the phone shut and glanced over at where Martha was feverishly typing. Muttering under her breath, urging the computer to complete its calculations.

The first reported murder had come in about forty minutes before – a couple found in the park, ripped apart.

Two more reported massacres had come in since – both in restaurants, both coinciding with instances of Martha’s weird alien energy. Half of UNITs soldiers had taken to the streets about 10 minutes ago, now they were just trying to find the pattern and work out where it would strike next.

“Who was it? Was it Mitchell?” Martha spoke rapidly, not taking her eyes from the screens.

“No it was Luke,” Maria said.

Martha was one of the only people at UNIT who knew the truth about Luke – the others all thought he was just Sarah Jane Smith’s adopted son or Maria’s friend.

Martha glanced at her.

“He said he needed to use the lab,” Maria explained. “It might be something to do with this.”

“Perhaps… anyway, we could do with his help. A genius could be really useful right now.”

“He’ll be here soon,” Maria said, taking her place beside Martha again.

“Good, I’ll go and wait for him. You stay here – you’re better at this computer stuff than me.”

* * * * *

Luke had been worried that they’d struggle to get a cab, especially on Valentine’s Day, but within seconds of them reaching the main road the man had stuck his long fingers between his lips and let out a piercing whistle.

Luke tried not to think about those fingers or those lips as the cab pulled up. He was still trying not to think about them as he hurriedly told the man the address.

As he slid onto the fold out seat, he saw that the man, sat opposite him now, staring at two of his own fingers with a great deal of pleasure. He looked up at Luke and grinned.

“I can whistle,” he explained, “Some bodies just aren’t made for it and you’d be amazed how many times in a crisis you need to whistle.

“So you work for UNIT?” The man changed tack rapidly.

He’d considered going to work for UNIT very briefly after he first dropped out of university, but that would have involved background checks and looking into his history – none of which had sounded like a good idea.

“No, but a friend of mine does.”

The man watched him for a second and then glanced out of the window.

“Useful,” was all he said.

They sat in silence, Luke suddenly felt a lot more awkward than he had in the alley with the mans hand on his neck, their bodies pressed together, and the feel of his breath against Luke’s lips…

Luke shook his head trying to clear it and stop the rush of heat, the man glanced at him again.

He looked like he might say something but thankfully at that moment they pulled to a stop outside the central UNIT building at Tower Bridge. He pushed past him, shoving the door open, eager to get outside again. He could see Martha waiting at the gate.

She looked scared and worried.

“Luke…” she began to say and then her face split into a wide smile, almost wiping away the fear that had been there seconds before.

“Doctor!”

She skipped past Luke and flung her arms around the man. Luke felt like he has missed a step. The moment before the fall. Dizzy and confusing and slightly sickening.

“Martha Jones,” the Doctor said as they pulled apart, though he was still gripping her arms, smiling down at her.

“You recognise me,” he said a moment later, sounding surprised and oddly disappointed.

“Of course… wait, is this the first time we meet after..?”

“Arrgghhh, time travel,” he moaned in mock annoyance, interrupting her.

“How long ago was it?” She asked him, neither of them paying any attention to Luke.

“Not long, just taking this body out for a test drive. Bit of an adventure. Ooh, almost forgot,” his eyes were smiling and mischievous. He suddenly let go of Martha, digging into both pockets at the same time. He pulled out the clump of matted hair again and waved it at both of them. “Better get this analysed.”

Then he was striding towards the doors, not even waiting to see if they were following.

* * * * *

Maria glanced up expecting to see Martha and Luke coming through the door, but instead it was an unfamiliar man. Thin and gangly and brimming with confidence.

She scrambled to her feet, backing away, her eyes looking for a weapon but the man wasn’t paying any attention to her, he kept glancing over his shoulder, talking ten to the dozen. He slid into the seat she’d just vacated and started typing, fast, as Martha entered the room with a reassuring smile.

Luke trailed after them, looking a little lost and forlorn. Grabbing his arm, Maria pulled him to the back of the room where they could talk, Martha and the man were too engrossed in their discussion to notice.

“What’s wrong? Has something happened?” She asked him and then glanced down at what he was wearing. “Is that Clyde’s shirt? Wait… Is that Clyde’s_ pulling_ shirt?”

“Err… yeah, he lent it to me.”

“Why?”

“Well I went to a bar,” he mumbled.

“A gay bar? How did it go?” She asked and then paused. “That probably isn’t what I should be focusing on. What’s going on?”

“Something attacked us,” he told her, “We…”

“Would that be a something capable of tearing people apart?” She interrupted.

“Probably, we got a sample, but we needed somewhere to analyse it.”

As he said ‘we’, his eyes drifted to the man across the room and Maria’s followed them. The man and Martha were in animated conversation, his fingers flicking expressively and a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

From the corner of her eye she saw Luke smile. She turned quickly to him, meeting his eyes and he flushed looking down at the floor.

“I just like it when he does that,” he mumbled and Maria decided it was probably best not to ask whether he meant the thing with the fingers or the smile. Luke looked up at her again. “So did they call you in or was this your date?”

She sighed and slumped into one of the chairs against the wall. For someone who often fundamentally misunderstood human relationships, Luke could be frustratingly perceptive. He lowered himself, more sedately, into the chair beside her.

“Did you think this was how your Valentine’s Day was going to be?” She asked him but he just shrugged. “How did we end up like this Luke?”

“What do you mean?” He replied quietly.

“Luke, we’re twenty. We should be having the time of our life. And here I am sneaking into work because I have a crush on my boss, who’s ten years older than me, straight and happily married to a man who is out saving the world. She barely knows who I am.”

She waited for some sort of contradiction, but Luke just sighed, with a surprising note of understanding.

“What’s wrong with him then?” Maria asked.

“I think he might be a 900 year old time travelling alien who used to date my mum… sort of.”

Maria couldn’t stop a short burst of laughter escaping her.

“Okay, you win,” she told him, “So that’s the Doctor?”

Luke just nodded, his eyes fixed sorrowfully on the man and she had a sudden sneaking feeling that Luke hadn’t only been attacked.

“Did you meet him at the bar?” She asked.

He nodded but didn’t speak.

“Luke, did something happen between you?”

“Errr… well we kissed.”

“Oh,” was all she could think of to say for a moment, “Was it good?”

He smiled, a secret smile, which was enough of an answer but Luke spoke anyway.

“Yeah… I mean he was the best, I think.”

“The best? Luke how many men did you kiss tonight?”

“Err…” he looked back at her, clearly embarrassed. “Three. Him, a guy who works here called Adam…”

“Adam Mitchell?” He nodded.

“Well he kissed me. And, errr… Clyde.”

“You kissed Clyde! Well that explains what happened in the bathroom earlier.”

“You said I should try kissing someone and I like Clyde,” he told her.

“Well yes… but it doesn’t work like that.”

“I know, he explained.”

“Well, you’re a fast learner, I’ll give you that,” she said with mixed surprise, horror and admiration.

“The Jeggorabax Cluster!” The Doctor suddenly exclaimed from across the room and they looked up.

* * * * *

The Doctor glanced at the computer screens for a moment, realised that it was running pattern recognition software and began to type. There were a few flaws in the program, but they were easy to fix, he looked back at Martha, fixing his attention on her.

“So we’ve already met?” He prompted her.

“Several times,” she told him with a smile. “You were most annoyed the first time that I didn’t know who you were.”

He couldn’t help but grin.

“Well, you know, time travel makes everyone grumpy sometimes. So I’m the sort of man who gets annoyed am I?” He prompted her.

She laughed.

“Oh no, I’m not going to tell you that,” she told him.

“Oh come on, give me something to go on. What sort of man am I?”

“I think if I say anything, I’d be breaking your rules about spoilers.”

He groaned.

“Damn rules. Come on. Some spoilers can be good. I mean every time I take one of you lot to the future that’s huge massive spoilers. Just give me a hint.”

His fingers flicked unexpectedly. They kept doing it, he was starting to wonder if they had a life of their own. He watched them in bemusement for a moment. That was one of the things he liked about regeneration, finding all the new quirks in a new body.

“Well…” Martha said slowly, a note of teasing in her voice. “You’re stubborn and impulsive and never listen to the rules, even your own, and you can never leave a problem alone…”

“But I’m always like that,” he interrupted.

“Exactly,” she said, “You’re the Doctor. Now, stop being so self obsessed and tell me what’s happening.”

“Right,” he said and waved the sample again, “I’ve been tracking this thing for the last two days and managed to get this…”

“Would this be the sort of _thing_ that might slaughter dozens of innocent people?” She interrupted and pointed him in the direction of a digital analysis tray. He settled the sample in it and it slid out of sight.

“Yep, probably. Anyway I just need to analyse this sample and then I can work out what it is and how to stop it and then all I need to do is track it down…”

“We can help you there, we’ve been getting a lot of weird alien energy readings across the city, and as soon as the analysis is finished we should be able to predict where it will turn up next.”

“Martha Jones you are brilliant.”

“So how come you’re not using the Tardis for this?” She asked him.

“Hmmm… she’s gotten a bit contrary since the regeneration. Always does. Sulking. She’ll get used to the change in the end.”

He tapped a few buttons, and one of the computer screens beeped, throwing up a picture of a cluster of solar systems.

“The Jeggorabax Cluster!” He said. “Of course.”

“What comes from…” Martha began when the boy suddenly interrupted.

“Jeggorabax?”

The Doctor turned to look at him with a smile and a moment of guilt, that he hadn’t got round to finding out his name.

“Yes, it’s populated almost entirely from creatures…”

“Who feed off emotion, I know,” the boy interrupted, a little disconcertingly. “Like the Pied Piper.”

“What… I don’t… it would make sense, I suppose, if he was a creature who fed off fear though I couldn’t be certain unless I went back and…”

“Trust me,” the boy said. “So this creature has somehow come to earth and taken a corporeal form, maybe it was an excess of the emotion that feeds it, that’s what happened with the Piper. Could be fear again…”

“It would explain why it’s ripping people apart,” a girl that he hadn’t noticed before said, “That would definitely scare them.”

The Doctor watched the exchange, completely baffled and as he glanced between the two he caught a glimpse of Martha holding in silent laughter.

“And make other people scared,” the boy finished for her. “But it’s not very clever. The Piper was intelligent, that thing seemed more like an animal.”

At least he had the answer to this one.

“Ah. There are several different levels of evolutionary development in the Cluster, this one might be one of the less intelligent. As for its body, the lower species usually inhabit simple life forms, a symbiotic species. I think this one found itself on earth and its symbiote died, probably some incompatibility with the environment or atmosphere.

“The Jeggorabaxian was left, barely able to survive without a host and took up residence in the first life form it found. Probably a bear,” he finished with a proud grin.

“There was a report of a bear escaping from a zoo a few weeks ago,” the girl said.

“How do we defeat it?” Martha asked, with a tilt of her head that told him she was only marginally impressed and knew that he was just trying to show off.

“Well, whatever the original animal was, it’s whole body is suffused with the Jeggorabaxian gas now, so with the sample,” he gestured at the computer, his fingers doing their weird thing again, “we can work out exactly what it is and come up with a chemical formula that will force it out of the body.

“After that it’s easy,” he dug in his pocket and pulled out a modified, slightly battered, Cyberman infostamp. “I can trap it in this and then it’s just a quick trip to the Jeggorabax Cluster and everything’s coming up roses.”

Hmmm… he thought as the last phrase tripped from his tongue. Possibly this new regeneration was a fan of musicals which considering what had happened in the alleyway earlier seemed like a terrible cliché.

“Of course,” the boy said beside him and before the Doctor could react he had moved to the bank of computer screens and was scanning the information there. He began to type.

“What are you doing?” The Doctor asked, worried, but everyone’s attention was now on the boy.

“One part potassium permanganate, another part krillitane oil and two parts mustakozene-80…” the boy began.

As he outlined the remaining chemicals and the processes that would be needed, the Doctor moved behind him so he could see the screen as well. He rested his hand on the boy’s shoulder and the boy’s voice faltered for a moment, but then continued.

The Doctor was actually having to race to keep up with him. It was a few seconds after the boy stopped speaking before he said anything.

“That’s… well, that’s right. It would work. Huh.”

The boy turned to look up at him, all wide eyed and innocent and very young looking.

“Didn’t Luke tell you?” Martha said, sounding amused again. “He’s a genius. Apparently enough of one to give even you a run for your money.”

_Luke_, the Doctor filed away and then paused. And the girl must be Maria, he thought, that’s who Luke had called and when you put Luke and Maria together it sparked a memory.

“Sarah Jane’s Luke?” he asked. The boy bit his lip and then nodded.

Well that was a little awkward and possibly not the best way to start a regeneration.

On Gallifrey a certain amount of cross-generational relationships had been expected, it was hard to avoid when everyone lived so long – but on Earth it was generally frowned upon.

He’d thought Luke looked familiar at the bar, he’d noticed that before he’d even realised he was talking to Adam. Had already half picked him out. He’d thought it was because he looked a little like Jamie – that’s where the familiarity had come from, but now it made sense, he’d seen him before on the screen in the Tardis. Small and grainy and, when was it, five years earlier? Six?

Luke was watching him.

“Ok,” Maria said breaking the moment. “Now we know how to defeat it, how do we find it? If it’s just trying to make people scared it could go anywhere.”

“Actually,” the Doctor told her, “I don’t think it’s feeding on fear. I think it’s feeding on love – that’s why it’s come into the city now – Valentine’s Day – all that love, all that emotion, it couldn’t resist.”

“If it’s feeding on love why is it ripping people apart?” Martha asked.

“Because it doesn’t understand it – I mean, who does – love it’s one of the big mysteries of the universe. Normally it would feed directly from it’s host creature, but bears don’t feel emotions in the same way. So it wants love, hungers for it, longs for it, seeks it and it can sort of feel it, there inside people but it doesn’t know how to get to it.”

“So it rips them apart trying?” Luke asked.

“Yep – it’s like a perfect analogy for life everywhere – we want love, try to find it, never understand it, and end up hurting people to get it.”

“You should maybe not sound so pleased,” Martha warned him. “Just a suggestion. So it’s looking for places where people are in love, that narrows it down to only a couple of thousand places tonight.”

“Ummm…” Maria said, “Luke did it look like Clyde was getting ready to go on a date tonight to you?”

“Yeah,” he said and the pair exchanged a worried look.

“Well, like Martha said,” the Doctor tried to reassure them, “there’s lots of places it could go, it’s hardly likely to turn up at the same place as your friend.”

They stared at him for a second.

“You clearly have never met Clyde,” Maria told him.

“Okay,” Luke told her, “We’ll work on the formula – you try to ring Clyde.”

* * * * *

“Clyde, what is this about?” Sarah Jane asked, not quite able to keep the note of annoyance out of her voice.

Clyde grimaced. He’d been skirting around the subject for half an hour already, they’d already finished the antipasta, which was a stupid word for a starter, and were onto the main course.

“It’s… errr… well, sometimes you have feelings…” he started and Sarah Jane suddenly smiled. He loved it when she smiled.

“Is this about a girl?” She asked and then, pausing, added, “Or a boy.”

“No… I mean, sort of… not a girl,” he spotted a sudden smile again and realised how that sounded. “More of a woman,” he added desperately.

“Oh. An older woman?”

“Yes, exactly,” he said quickly, relieved that she was working it out.

“So you have feelings for an older woman? Alright. Does she feel the same about you?” Sarah Jane asked.

“Well… I, I don’t know. I know she likes me…”

“Clyde, if you’re asking me for advice of how you should seduce an older woman, I’m afraid you’re asking the wrong person. I wouldn’t know where to start.”

Clyde couldn’t help but be amused by the irony of the statement – amused and slightly horrified.

“Maybe you should just ask her?” Sarah Jane suggested. “Come on – forthright, straight-forward, never afraid. That’s the Clyde I know.”

Clyde took one deep breath.

“Actually that’s why I asked you here,” he told her with half a grin, if this all went terribly wrong maybe he could turn it into a joke. She paused, her eyes going suddenly blank as if she was looking through him.

“What?” She said.

“What?” He replied, knowing even as he said it that it was a stupid response.

They stared at each other in growing horror.

All things considered it was a bit of a relief when a slathering monster burst through the restaurant door. Pausing for a moment in the doorway, like something from a bad melodramatic horror film, nostrils flaring as it sniffed the air.

There was something bear like about it, though saying a bear was like this thing was a bit like saying a house cat was like a panther.

“Thank god,” Sarah Jane muttered next to him, which seemed both a little unfair and frankly understandable. They both sprang to their feet, sending their chairs flying.

Their relief was short lived as the screaming started and the beast lunged towards a couple sat near the door. They barely had time to react and the restaurant around them fell silent as everyone watched in horrified disbelief.

Clyde saw a sudden flash of light as someone at the back of the restaurant pulled out a mobile phone and lifted it, clearly about to take a photo. Clyde made a mental note that, saving the day or not, if it came down to running for your life he’d make sure he kicked the man as they went.

The momentary silence was broken by a wet tearing sound and a splatter of blood and people began to scream again as they desperately tried to get to the back of the restaurant, knocking over tables, chairs and other people in their desperation. Clyde hoped to god that there was a fire exit back there.

The monster let out a strangely haunting keen from amidst the wreckage of the table and then turned, sniffing the air blindly and began to lumber towards the people still struggling to escape.

“Not so fast,” Sarah Jane said loudly from besides him, her sonic lipstick already in her hand.

A brief flash of light and a familiar buzz told him she had used it. The monster flinched and then turned towards them, with one sweep of it’s long arm it flicked the sonic lipstick from Sarah Jane’s hand.

Clyde pushed between her and the monster as it moved closer, leaned towards them until its nose brushed Clyde’s forehead and then with a dismissive sniff turned back towards the frightened crowd.

It pushed another couple aside, an older couple who’d spent most of the night looking bored and uninterested in each other. Instead it turned to one of the kissing couples who had seemed so intimidating earlier. They didn’t have a chance.

“We need to distract it,” Sarah Jane told him, her breath brushing his ear, for a second it was distracting but Clyde was thinking too hard to pay much attention.

“It’s only going for the couples that were kissing,” he told her.

“How do you know?”

“You were half an hour late… There wasn’t much to look at.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. When am I wrong?”

Sarah Jane sighed behind him, then grabbing his shoulders she spun him round and kissed him. Full lipped and thoroughly. For one glorious second Clyde forgot where they were and what was happening, then his mind kicked back into gear. Sarah Jane pulled away sharply and in tandem they turned to look at the monster.

It was still determinedly goring a couple and paying them no attention. They turned back to look at each other.

“Okay, sometimes I’m wrong,” he told her with a shrug.

“What now?” She sounded annoyed.

“Well maybe it’s not kissing, maybe it’s passion or mojo or something.”

“Well maybe we just don’t have the right flavour mojo,” she snapped at him. Yep she was definitely annoyed.

Suddenly in his pocket his phone began to ring – shrill, loud and annoying. Since all the weird stuff that had happened with that clown he’d fallen into the habit of picking the worst ring tones he could find.

The beast paused in its destruction, straightened up and turned towards them growling. It began to edge towards them.

“Well that works,” Sarah Jane said.

* * * * *

“I’ll drive,” Martha told them, glancing between her car and the UNIT truck and deciding on the latter. Her car was new and she was still a little too in love with it to put it through one of the Doctor’s plans.

The Doctor eyed the vehicle sceptically.

“Do you know how to drive this thing?” He asked her.

“Yes,” she told him. “I’ve had a lot of practice – and I, at least, have never crashed into the wrong century.”

The Doctor grinned at her.

“Oh come on, that only happened once… well, maybe twice. Anyway it was a fractual temporal disturbance if I hadn’t swerved to avoid…”

“I know.” Martha laughed and glanced to where Luke and Maria were checking the syringes of formula, the Doctor followed her gaze.

“Once we get there,” he said suddenly, his voice brightly cheerful. “I want you to stand back, leave it to me and don’t get in my way…”

They must have all turned to stare at him at the same time because he faltered and broke off. Martha raised an eyebrow.

“Okay,” he said sheepishly, “I know I don’t need to tell _you _but…”

“Luke,” Maria interrupted firmly, “How many times have we saved the world?”

“Err… 217, but five of those times it’s not clear whether the entire world was…”

“Thank you.”

Martha smiled. The Doctor looked vaguely stunned and Maria was brimming with the determination that made Martha like her so much. It had been nice to find someone new for UNIT whose intelligence and reactions she could rely on.

“Right,” the Doctor said, “Well I suppose we better…”

He gestured helplessly at the truck and, relenting, Maria turned and climbed in the back with Luke. Sliding into the driver seat, she waited for the Doctor to settle into the seat beside her before she spoke again.

“Count this one as a freebie,” she told him without rancour, “You’re not bossy – not to the people you trust.”

“Right… sorry…” he was gazing out of the window, looking a little morose, then he grinned and turned to look back at her. “How do I know you’re not just saying that so I will behave that way.”

She smiled at him and then turning to check her mirror, started the truck.

“You don’t.”

They drove in silence for a while. She could hear Maria and Luke talking in the back, though she couldn’t make out their words over the sound of the engine.

She supposed she should say something to the Doctor… about Luke. It was not quite true that Sarah Jane’s world revolved around him anymore, it had become full of so many other wonderful things, but he was still her foundation stone – her anchor.

“You’re going to ask him to go with you,” she said at last, from the corner of her eye she saw the Doctor look at her.

“I… how…”

“You looked at me that way once.”

“Oh,” an unfamiliar sadness tinged his voice, something she was not used to in this Doctor.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” she told him and it was true, she no longer missed her time in the Tardis. Nothing tied her to earth now other than herself and just the knowledge of that made her feel happy and settled.

“Will he come?” He asked her unexpectedly.

“You never seemed to worry about that before,” it was half a question and he waited a while before answering.

“I’ve not asked anyone in a long time who knows what travelling with me would really be like,” he admitted. “Who knows how it ends.”

“Sarah Jane’s happy now,” she told him gently.

“Well does he? Don’t say that it’s a spoiler,” he groaned.

“I don’t know,” she told him with a slight shrug. “When you came before he wasn’t with you, but…”

“But?” He prompted and she wondered what to tell him. That he’d seemed happy? That she’d thought he had a secret? That he’d got a text message once, on her old phone, and reading it had grinned?

“But you’d hardly be likely to bring him back to a time he already existed, would you?” They pulled up at some traffic lights.

“I suppose not.”

She looked sideways at him, he was biting his lip, an oddly mirrored gesture – it was something she’d seen Luke do.

“Just…” she started and then broke off.

“What?” He asked.

“Just be careful,” she told him. “He means the world to Sarah Jane.”

* * * * *

Maria was worried. Luke was clearly besotted, which probably shouldn’t be surprising, Luke always formed fast, strong attachments and they’d all spent the last six years hearing how wonderful the Doctor was. But it didn’t stop her being worried.

It felt like they’d only just found their way back together and she didn’t want anyone to take Luke away. Especially the Doctor, who was synonymous in her head with heartbreak and loss and danger and pain as well as magic.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” she told Luke and he gave her a puzzled look.

“I’m just saying he can be dangerous,” Luke stared at the truck floor as she spoke.

“Think about how long Sarah Jane waited for him and Martha… she spent a year walking the world for him. She told me once, that she wasn’t sure if you ever really mend from the things you do – and she didn’t say, but she meant travelling with him…” She knew she was babbling, but she had to say it. Even if it made no difference.

“Even Adam, the boy you kissed earlier, he went travelling in the Tardis and then the Doctor just dumped him again – he’s spent the last two years trying to convince himself that he’s still worth something…” She told him.

“He can be wonderful too,” Luke replied at last.

“I know,” she told him with a sigh and leaned back against the covered wall of the truck.

“It’s alright,” Luke said quietly, “I mean, I don’t think he’s going to hurt me. I don’t think he really notices me…”

“Luke…” Maria wasn’t sure how to begin pointing out the ways that that was stupid, it was obvious that the Doctor noticed him. Just the way he looked at him.

“He kissed you,” she settled for at last.

“I think we were supposed to be bait… for the monster,” he sounded disappointed.

“Oh.”

* * * * *

Clyde snapped the phone shut, as the monster edged towards them.

“Luke and Maria are on the way,” he told Sarah Jane. “They’ve got something to stop this thing. They want us to draw it somewhere secluded. They’re going to track my phone.”

Which just left working out how to get the monster to follow them. Although first they needed to work out how to get away and then they could work out how to make it follow them.

Right now the former seemed the more difficult, the latter rather seemed to be taking caring of itself. The beast’s attention seemed to be focused firmly upon them and something from its anxious shifting made Clyde think they had confused it somehow.

“Albion Hospital is nearby,” Sarah Jane said as she bent slowly to retrieve her sonic lipstick. The beast’s head followed Sarah Jane’s movement, snapped back towards Clyde and then back towards Sarah Jane again. It grunted in annoyance.

“That’s been abandoned for years,” she said, straightening again.

Clyde nodded. He knew the hospital, it had not been properly used since the war, every now and then someone tried to get it set up as a hospital again or a shop or a trendy wine bar but they never lasted long and they usually left complaining of weird happenings… or screaming. Worryingly often it was screaming.

It was probably the perfect place.

The creature had managed to back them into a corner. No good for them but it left a clear path for the other trapped diners to the front door. Beside him, Sarah Jane gestured for them to get out quickly.

At the sudden rush of movement behind it the beast began to turn. Flipping his phone back open – Clyde managed to get to the ringtone screen in three clicks, which was probably some sort of record, and started moving through trying to find one that would catch the monsters attention.

“Wait,” Sarah Jane said as he paused on a particularly annoying one and leaning close enough that he could smell her perfume again, she pointed her sonic lipstick at the phone. Suddenly it was deafeningly loud and the beast span back towards them, with a roar of rage.

They edged sideways, along the wall – trying to get some tables between them, buying time for the rest of the people to escape. The beast swept the first table aside with ease as it tried to get to the phone, shattering it against the wall beside them.

“And I thought asking you out was going to be the most difficult thing I did tonight,” Clyde joked as they shifted sideways again, trying to find a route to the door.

“Not the time,” Sarah Jane warned him.

“Okay,” he said as the last diner stumbled from the door, “Be ready to run.”

Sarah Jane laughed, a soft short laugh. They were always ready to run.

“Oi!”

With an exaggerated gesture he threw the phone in a high arc towards the back of the restaurant. Suddenly without tables to block its route the beast followed, with a surprising burst of speed. It gripped the phone in its mouth. For a moment they could hear the phone, muffled and strangely echoing, and then the noise was gone as it swallowed.

Clyde sighed. It was getting difficult to come up with new excuses for the mobile phone companies. He’d already been blacklisted by two of them.

“Well at least it doesn’t chew its food, lets hope they can still track it,” Clyde said as the beast began to turn back towards them. Sarah Jane gripped his hand and pulled him from the restaurant.

The street was almost empty when they reached the fresh air. One good thing about all the weird stuff that had been happening over the last few years was that nowadays at even a hint of screaming, people tended to run first and ask questions later.

They paused for a moment and then Sarah Jane gave one sharp pull at his hand in the direction of the hospital and they were running, the sound of the monster breaking through the restaurant glass spurring them on.

* * * * *

“Damn,” Martha swore, “the signals cut out.”

The Doctor reached for it instinctively but Luke was already there. They’d been trying to get a firm lock on the friend’s phone number and had abandoned the truck a few streets away. A moment ago they’d thought they were getting close.

“Let me have a look,” the boy said.

The Doctor took a step towards the pair, huddled over the machine, meaning to help when a firm hand gripped his arm and dragged him away, around a corner. It was Maria.

“He trusts everybody,” she said without preamble. “And he’ll do what they say without thinking sometimes and he’ll help the bad guys without realising it. It’s easy for people to use him and they will and then he can be dangerous,” she paused for a moment drawing a deep breath.

“And he doubts himself,” she continued. “You’ll have to watch that. And it will hurt him if he thinks he’s disappointed you. He’s scared of losing people. He can be hard work,” she finished softly and as if it were a cruel thing to admit.

The Doctor wasn’t quite sure how to react, humans seemed to spend all their time trying to find ways to confuse and surprise him.

“Errr… you’re not really selling him to me here,” he tried.

“I’m not trying to,” she snapped at him. “Do you think I want him to run off with you?”

He didn’t answer and she looked away for a second. In the quiet of the street, unusually quiet he thought for Valentine’s Day, they could hear Martha and Luke talking about the phone.

“He’ll always do what’s right,” Maria said suddenly turning back to him. “He cares more about helping others than himself. He always has an idea. He never will disappoint you. He always has questions, he’s always interested and he’ll always surprise you.”

“Why are you telling me this?” He asked her.

“Because you don’t deserve him but maybe he deserves you.”

Without another word she turned and stalked back around the corner to the others. He followed her a moment later, thoughtful. This new regeneration seemed to be having an odd affect on people.

“Will you have a look at this?” Martha asked him in annoyance.

He had just taken it from her when in the distance they heard a shriek.

“Or we could just follow that,” Maria suggested.

* * * * *

The woman screamed again and they both stumbled to a stop, pulling in deep desperate breaths as they turned. They were on a long, narrow twisting street, converted warehouses rising above them. A relic of old London.

The monster was a way back from them and had already turned to face the woman who was scrambling back inside her house. Thankfully it had a reinforced door and high windows, so there was little chance of it getting inside but the beast was distracted now, sniffing at the door and then the other end of the street, paying them

no attention.

“What now?” Sarah Jane asked him, between breathing.

“You could always kiss me again,” Clyde suggested with a weak laugh, hoping to make her smile. She gave him a withering look.

“I’m not sure that would be a good idea,” she said.

“It was just a joke,” he tried to tell her but she wasn’t paying attention. She looked flushed and embarrassed.

“It’s only natural…” she said her voice a little too loud to seem normal and not quite meeting his eyes. “That… err… that you should form an attraction… we’ve known each other a long time and you’re going through a confusing stage…”

“I’m not a teenager anymore,” he interrupted her, a little annoyed. “I’m twenty years old.”

“Oh lord,” she said looking away from him again. “Clyde I’m forty years older than you.”

“Oh and there wasn’t an age difference between you and the Doctor?”

“That was different,” she said sharply. “Anyway that’s not the point. I know it must have been a difficult time for you lately, with all the drama when Luke left University and Maria being head hunted by UNIT and that you may have felt overlooked, and bored, but this is just…”

“I don’t feel overlooked,” he interrupted her. And it was true. He liked University, he liked graphic design and he liked having somewhere to go that was only sometimes about aliens.

“I’m just trying to say,” she continued. “That I can understand you wanting something… different and many young men form… affection for authority figures but…”

“Look you care for me don’t you?” He interrupted again.

“Of course, I care for you,” she said in annoyance and desperation.

“Well why does this have to about anything more than that?”

“I love you Clyde, but not like that. I think of you like a son.”

He had a sudden memory of trying to explain almost the exact same thing to Luke earlier that evening. Well apart from the bit about being like a son.

“Oh.”

It was only the confused grunt that made them realise they had both forgotten the creature. It was sat on it’s hindquarters, watching them, it’s head slightly cocked.

They began backing away quickly as it growled.

It leaped, straight towards Clyde, he fell backwards with it, but managing to roll at the last minute stopped it from getting a proper grip on him. It was still on top of him though. A hot, heavy, sticky, reeking mass above him.

“Clyde!” He heard a woman shout.

* * * * *

“Clyde!” Maria shouted as she recognised the struggling figure underneath the monster. Darting forward she tried to pull it off him, but before she’d even got close enough to make contact, it had thrown her backwards with a one pawed swipe.

Close behind, Luke caught her.

“Mum?” He said confusion clear in his voice.

Sarah Jane moved past the monster, her eyes still fixed upon it and slipped between them, gripping them both in a hard, quick embrace. Then releasing them, she aimed the sonic lipstick at the monster. It merely twitched as if something had tickled it.

Luke made to move forward, one syringe already clutched in his hand, but from nowhere the Doctor seized his arm and pulled him backwards, so that Luke bumped against him.

“No,” he said looking into Luke’s eyes intently, “We can’t get close enough that way.”

Beside her, Sarah Jane gave the pair a curious look. Spotting Martha she smiled a tight greeting and then looked back towards the Doctor with a fierce sort of study and then understanding.

The monster paused for a moment, looking up and backwards at the pair, sniffing the air. Beneath it Clyde pulled in a deep gasp and Maria released a breath, relieved, that she hadn’t even known she was holding.

“We need to distract it, get it off him,” she said desperately and saw Luke and the Doctor exchange a quick embarrassed glance and then the Doctor turned back to the creature while Luke looked at Sarah Jane, worried.

“Oi, you,” the Doctor said, moving forward slightly but not releasing Luke’s arm, “I know you, you’re from the Jeggorabax Cluster, you’re lost - a long way from home, I know that feeling. I can help you get home, you just… bugger.”

The creature had turned back to Clyde. It was all going wrong.

“Fine,” Maria swore and then turning she gripped Martha’s face and kissed her.

It was not quite like she’d been imagining over the last few months – a little more awkward, their teeth knocking together for a second. Martha, surprised, tensed for a moment and then to Maria’s relief relaxed into the kiss, her tongue slipping across Maria’s lip.

* * * * *

Clyde pushed upwards, though most of his strength was gone, the monsters claws had raked across one of his arms and he couldn’t seem to lift it. But he wasn’t dead yet and at least when it had moved away for a second he’d managed to breath a little. Horrible stinking air, but air none the less.

The creature suddenly reared up, with a keening sound, turning away. Clyde pulled in another smelly breath as he pushed himself onto his knees and managed to catch a fleeting glimpse of what was happening. Luke was there, some man clutching his arm and Maria…

Maria was kissing a woman. Not a woman – her boss. Not just a woman, Clyde corrected himself, boss or not Martha Jones was still a woman.

She was also still definitely snogging Maria.

The pair broke apart, a little guiltily as the monster keened again. 

“Clyde,” Luke called, pulling his attention back just in time as Luke threw something at him. Catching it one handed, he saw it was a syringe. He was going to have to have the talk again with Luke, the one about throwing dangerous objects and how it led to people losing ears.

Not waiting for instructions, he plunged the syringe into the monsters back. It froze for a second, shuddered violently, every muscle of it shaking and then collapsed onto its hindquarters seeming to shrink in size as it fell.

Clyde clawed himself backwards out of the way just in time. Something black and sparkling seemed to be hanging in the air around the… well it was definitely starting to look more like a bear.

The man finally let go and Luke hurried to Clyde’s side, helping him to his feet.

“Are you alright?” Luke asked him, guiding him back to the rest of them.

“I’ve been worse,” he told him wincing.

“Mum?” Luke suddenly whispered, and Clyde winced harder.

“Not now,” he hissed, mentally adding ‘or ever’.

The man had clicked open a battered metal tube and suddenly the sparkling darkness was sucked inside it, leaving a rather puzzled looking bear in its place. Turning back to them with a grin, he twirled the tube in his fingers.

“Just a short trip to the Jeggorabax Cluster and everything’s fixed… more or less.”

Clyde was suddenly aware that the world was twisting uncomfortably around him.

“We need to get him to the hospital,” was the last thing he heard them say.

* * * * *

The Doctor watched as Luke and Maria half-pulled and half-carried their friend into the back of a taxi. Down the street behind them, the bear had started to root through some trash cans.

He felt a little strange watching Luke go, for a moment he caught his eyes as Luke looked back, but neither of them could quite smile.

“I better go and tell UNIT the crisis is over,” Martha sighed beside them as the taxi pulled away.

Turning she squeezed Sarah Jane’s arm and then pulled him into an embrace. It was firm and slightly sad, speaking somehow of future sorrow. And then she was gone, leaving the two of them alone.

They stood in silence for a moment.

“You’ve changed again,” Sarah Jane said at last, “You just keep getting younger.”

“What do you think?” He asked, knowing that of all of them this was the opinion that mattered most. She looked at him for a moment and then smiled.

“I like it, it suits you.”

With a grin, he pulled her into a hug, an unfamiliar hug as they worked out how these two bodies should fit together. They stayed like that for a few minutes, with only the sound of the bear eating and the distant wail of sirens to intrude on them, then at last she pulled away slightly.

“Take good care of him,” she told him.

“I…” he started almost ready to deny it and then stopped. “I won’t ask him if you don’t want me to,” he told her instead.

She sighed deeply.

“Ever since I found him, I’ve been waiting for someone to take him away again and dreading it.”

“I…” he started again, but she shook her head.

“Luke has spent his whole life feeling like he doesn’t fit in, having to hide how clever he is – he even dropped out of university because his professor’s were becoming too suspicious – I think he deserves something better than that. That’s all that matters.”

Leaning in the Doctor kissed her on the cheek as the bear knocked over another dustbin.

“Thank you,” he told her.

“I don’t suppose there’s also room in the Tardis for a bear is there?” She asked him with a smile.

He laughed.

“Probably not.”

“No, didn’t think so – I suppose I better call the zoo and tell them we found him.”

“I could stay and help…” he offered awkwardly but she just smiled at him.

“That’s not you,” she told him and pulled him down so she could kiss him, softly on the lips, “Make sure he phones me.”

* * * * *

The doctor gave Clyde a stern look as she finally let the others in and left them alone, Clyde wasn’t quite sure that she’d believed him when he’d told her he’d been attacked by a bear. But then people never did when you told them the truth.

Thankfully though they’d given in and stumped for good enough private insurance that the doctors didn’t ask too many questions. His lecturers might be more difficult.

“Well,” he said as Maria settled herself on the edge of his bed and Luke wandered to the window distracted, “That was a truly disastrous Valentine’s Day.”

“I don’t know,” Maria replied with a smile, “We all got kissed.”

An awkward laugh burst from his lips.

“How did you find…” He broke off as Luke shot him a suddenly horrified look.

“Luke told me,” Maria answered the unfinished question.

“Oh… Luke… yes…. Anyway what about you and Doctor Jones.”

She flushed, bright red.

“We were just trying to distract the monster from you.”

“Yeah, of course you were and who was that man Luke was with?”

Luke flinched slightly in the window as if his mind had been elsewhere for a moment.

“That was the Doctor,” he said.

“Wait? _That_ was the Doctor?” He rounded on Maria. “I’ve spent the last six years waiting to meet that man and you didn’t even introduce me? Oh my god… I fainted. How could you let me faint? You’re both…”

“I should go and check that Mum’s alright,” Luke interrupted, turning and heading for the door. He seemed weirdly subdued. Maria rose quickly and stopping Luke, planted an impulsive kiss on his cheek.

“Goodbye,” she said but Luke didn’t reply as he left the room.

“Am I missing something?” Clyde asked.

“Always,” she told him and kicked off her shoes. “Come on, shove over.”

He moved to the side of the small bed and she climbed in beside him, pulling the covers over herself. Reaching over him for the remote, she switched the TV on, flicking through it until she landed on what looked like a sappy romantic comedy.

“Ouch,” he moaned, trying to remind her who the patient was.

“No one who’s hurt actually says ouch,” she chided him with a wicked glint in her eye. “Anyway, so who else did you kiss if it wasn’t Luke?”

* * * * *

Luke was cold as he walked slowly home. He’d left his coat at the bar and it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to go back and get it now.

He hadn’t wanted to stay and listen to Clyde talk about the Doctor, not right now, but he was reluctant to head home either – to either of his homes.

He sank onto a garden wall, staring at the ground and trying to ignore the miserable feeling in his chest.

It was only the sensation that someone was watching him that made him look up.

The Doctor was watching him, the Tardis, just as Luke had imagined it, stood beside him. His hands were hidden deep in his pockets, making him slightly hunched and giving him an unfamiliar stillness.

The Doctor smiled at him.

“I thought you might like to help me take our friend back,” he said softly.

Luke’s mind leapt for a moment in sheer joy and then the weight of the temptation settled on him as he thought about leaving his Mum and Clyde and Maria and the things she had said.

“I can’t,” he said, rising quickly to his feet and turned from the man, walking fast, trying to leave the choice behind him, barely able to keep from running.

“Luke!” He heard the Doctor call but could not stop. Could not face the risk that he might be convinced.

He turned the corner quickly and pulled to a sudden halt.

Around the corner the Doctor and the Tardis were waiting for him.

“Are you impressed?” The Doctor asked. “I was trying to impress you.”

“Isn’t it dangerous to have two of you in the same place at the same time?” Luke asked.

“Well… yeah…” the Doctor admitted, his head tilted sideways, as he reached up and his long fingers rubbed the side of his neck. “Except that I’d decided I was going to do this even before you started to walk away, so the first me knew not to follow you or do anything, really, that would lead to the end of the universe. So…”

He trailed off, but pushed the door to the Tardis open slightly behind him and smiled.

And Luke knew that the battle was over and all that was left were the negotiations.

 

**Author's Note:**

> My policy on permissions for use of my work is that you don't in fact need my permission to make art, record podfic, remix, critique, translate, save, share or otherwise reuse and interact with anything I've done. I'd love it if you'd share a link with me when you're done.
> 
> Any comments are also welcome – I'd love to hear what worked for you and (truly) what didn't or about those really obvious typos that my mind can't see anymore. If you don't want to comment publicly, feel free to e-mail me. Everything and anything will be loved and cherished.


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